My Romance

So I'm having a conversation with a friend of mine on yesterday morning and in the midst of picking apart my life, I was reminded that I am a romantic at heart. 

I can't say that this is a good thing or a bad thing... However it is an accurate thing.

Perhaps I should clarify. My idea of romance tends more towards the archaic definition of the word (which can be found here) rather than the common way that the word is used (which can be found here).

When I think of romance, I think about old stories that explain the better nature of mankind or rather the truer nature of mankind... You know like the stories of a boy and his dog, or my personal preference, a man and his weapon (be it 9mm, light saber, or samurai sword)

Having the strong connection with music that I do, I always seem to be taken back to that common definition of romance. But even still, my romance seems to be different from that of most of those whose circles it has been my privilege to move in.

At the end of the day, I still believe that love, true love, moves people (like me) to do things that they might not have done had they not been loved, or moved to love. I still believe that love, true love brings out the purest and best in mankind (self included).

The sentiment expressed in the lyrics of the song in this video gives voice to my feelings on the subject.

What say you... What is "romance" to you?

She Said She Was On Her Way Out...

As I walked to her building, I heard her voice scream out…

She took longer than usual to buzz me in…

As I walked through the door into her condo, my nostrils were greeted with the musky smell of an afternoon-into-the-evening of sexual activity…

She looked more like a woman of leisure than someone who was on her way out the door… Fluffy, comfortable sweater, comfortable jeans, well-tousled hair… sleepy look and sleepy voice…

As I picked up what I came for, and continued the conversation walking out the door, she expressed how happy she would be to be back in her warm and cozy condo… throwing her arms over and around her head, while tilting her head, and cocking her hip… The look of a satisfied woman, who, basking in the thought of her satisfaction, longed for more of the same, even at that moment

Our conversation stretched on for several minutes, and only after we walked back into the condo did she even begin to put on shoes that were suitable for walking outdoors…

A Life Of Valor...

I just finished watching Act of Valor, a movie that I've been wanting to see for some time.

In my estimation it is a decent movie. It's not your typical "Hollywood" movie, but I'm glad I saw it.

I particularly appreciated the poem that was repeated/recited at the end.

Wise Words Of Tecumseh

Live your life that the fear of death

can never enter your heart.

Trouble no one about his religion.

Respect others in their views

and demand that they respect yours.

Love your life, perfect your life,

beautify all things in your life.

Seek to make your life long

and of service to your people.

Prepare a noble death song for the day

when you go over the great divide.

Always give a word or sign of salute when meeting

or passing a friend, or even a stranger, if in a lonely place.

Show respect to all people, but grovel to none.

When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light,

for your life, for your strength.

Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living.

If you see no reason to give thanks,

the fault lies in yourself.

Touch not the poisonous firewater that makes

wise ones turn to fools and robs their spirit of its vision.

When your time comes to die, be not like those 

whose hearts are filled with fear of death,

for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way.

Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home.

Perhaps these words are a good thing to remember, meditate upon, and perhaps to use as a guide to govern one's life.

The One...

Every person has (or has had) an idea of what their ideal significant other looks like, the kinds of things they would do (or not do), and what character traits they would possess.
The photo attached to this post, was taken from an Instagram account I follow.
It outlines the character traits of a woman. This woman is held out as an ideal.
I like how the description sounds, but I wonder if such a woman actually exists.

Is it unrealistic for this man to expect to find a woman that fits that description?

Confessions For A Thursday

So... Since February (when the last parent passed), I've developed a deeper appreciation for what some would consider a "darker"perspective on things...

If you knew me at all, you would know that music has always been a very big part of my life, my person, my very being. From keeping one song on "Repeat" so that I could learn it on a cellular level, to times where I refuse to listen to any music at all, because nothing matches "where I am", or "where I want to go".

As the elder Nevilon Meadows used to say, "Music is an aesthetic phenomena" 

And as such, it does have to ability to alter one's thoughts and disposition.

Perhaps you already know this, perhaps, like me, you have tried to use this information to your advantage by changing the music to either suit or change your current disposition.

I have a very deep appreciation for music and would be willing to chat with you on that subject extensively (consider that an invitation)

I remember the first time I heard "Highway To Hell", and thinking that  AC/DC was, in fact, in the express lanes on said highway.

I also remember sometime later that I actually sat down, and gave a good listen to Megadeath and Metallica. I walked away from that experience with an aversion to one group, and a fan of the other.

Did I mention that I consider myself a musician and a musicologist of sorts?

So... in the past 10 years, I went from LimpBizkit, to Staind, and settled in on Creed in the mid 2000's.

As I started out saying, I've developed a deeper appreciation for what some would consider a "darker" perspective on things. I've mostly kept to the same "family", which for me, means, Creed, Alter Bridge, and Tremonti. For the majority of last 6 months, these bands have comprised the bulk of my rock music listening, I've been very happy with the results.

This afternoon, as I was watching movie trailers on vudu, I saw the trailer for one of my favorite movies The Butterfly Effect. As the video and audio from the movie played on the the screen and speakers, I also heard a song recorded by Staind, that I remembered appreciating.

The thing about all of this music, speaks to me in my present and/or past disposition...

And I like it...

Confessions, Part 2 (What A Fool Believes...)

Confessions...

Melancholy decided to pay me a visit, and I have not, as yet, sent him away.

This has been an interesting year, truth be told, it has been an interesting couple of years...

Both parents passed away within 14 months of each other... I spent the better part of the last year trying to repair damaged relationships... Was shown that people rarely say what they mean, and if they do, perhaps they only mean it for that particular moment.

Of those relationships, the majority abandoned the relationship just when things were getting crucial for me...

Flash of thought- they could not or were not willing to give me what I need, when I needed it. Perhaps they think/feel the same way a toward/about me.

Perhaps that goes for the parents as well...

Not saying that I've ever been the perfect son or significant other.

I have always believed that two individuals who are willing to work together can accomplish more.

Much Thinking Here...

So... I love a woman...
But I don't meet her "requirements"

She deserves the very best.

I can't seem to shake her...
I'm not even talking about emotionally.
When all emotion is removed from the equation, what she gave to me is what, I believe, I need.

When things were "right" between us, she gave me the kind of love, respect, attention, and affection that I need... she gave me more than I needed.

When she thought me to be "out of line" , she gave it to me straight and in no uncertain terms. She reminded me of standards that I had once held dear, but had allowed to fall to the wayside. I needed that, and could accept that from her, when no one else could have reached me (not saying they thought or tried).

She has ceased to do both types of things, has declared her "free" status and has moved on with her life.

I Still Love Her.

You know there are more details to this story, but the bottom line is...
Even when my heart ceases to cry for her, my mind requests her practical presence.

This is my confession.

Be A Touch Stone

Wow...
It's been a minute...
Almost a year to be exact...

So much has gone on in the past year... smh...
I've been like a man 120,000 feet below, without a pressurized suit or a vehicle...
I've loved, and I've lost...
I've acted like I lost my *&$# mind...

I'm on the verge of rebirth...
I may have to chronicle some of the processes here...
I may have to get into some of the gritty details here...
I promise not to name names, but...
I promise that I will give you:

Real Talk. Real People. Real Life.

Omma Hafta Get Real With It.

I am a work in progress (just like you), and I invite you to chime in and give your own perspective on what is presented here.