Confessions...

Melancholy decided to pay me a visit, and I have not, as yet, sent him away.

This has been an interesting year, truth be told, it has been an interesting couple of years...

Both parents passed away within 14 months of each other... I spent the better part of the last year trying to repair damaged relationships... Was shown that people rarely say what they mean, and if they do, perhaps they only mean it for that particular moment.

Of those relationships, the majority abandoned the relationship just when things were getting crucial for me...

Flash of thought- they could not or were not willing to give me what I need, when I needed it. Perhaps they think/feel the same way a toward/about me.

Perhaps that goes for the parents as well...

Not saying that I've ever been the perfect son or significant other.

I have always believed that two individuals who are willing to work together can accomplish more.

Much Thinking Here...

So... I love a woman...
But I don't meet her "requirements"

She deserves the very best.

I can't seem to shake her...
I'm not even talking about emotionally.
When all emotion is removed from the equation, what she gave to me is what, I believe, I need.

When things were "right" between us, she gave me the kind of love, respect, attention, and affection that I need... she gave me more than I needed.

When she thought me to be "out of line" , she gave it to me straight and in no uncertain terms. She reminded me of standards that I had once held dear, but had allowed to fall to the wayside. I needed that, and could accept that from her, when no one else could have reached me (not saying they thought or tried).

She has ceased to do both types of things, has declared her "free" status and has moved on with her life.

I Still Love Her.

You know there are more details to this story, but the bottom line is...
Even when my heart ceases to cry for her, my mind requests her practical presence.

This is my confession.